The following songs were created by Physics undergraduate students at Jesus College Oxford in 1983 for a party to entertain their tutors Mike Glazer (Condensed Matter), Colin Webb (Atomic & Laser Physics), Louis Lyons (Particle Physics) and John Ward (Electronics).


Verse 1


It Ain't Necessarily So

It ain't necessarily so,

(It ain't necessarily so)

The things Dr Lyons

He says about pions

They ain't necessarily so.

Verse 2


Doc Glazer he plays with X-rays sir

(Doc Glazer he plays with X-rays sir)

The reciprocal lattice

Who on earth knows what that is

Oh k-space, yes that's OK - sir!


NB. Ow-ah = kind of groaning noise


Ow- ah - ow -ah

Finals in six months time

(Finals in six months time)

What is there to do?

(What is there to do?)

Ow- ah - ow -ah

Verse 3


NB. 'fluoresces'

pronounced 'fluresces'

has only 2 syllables


Doc Webb is a laser-sharp guy

(Doc Webb is a laser-sharp guy)

He colours his bowtie

With pink rhodamine dye

It fluoresces and is even drip-dry.

Verse 4


John Ward is intrinsically fine

(John Ward is intrinsically fine)

He's doped and impure

So we're not quite sure

If he's n-type or p by design





Verse 5


L'l Gauss he diverged but, oh my

L'il Gauss he diverged but oh my

He invented a theorem

So non could get near 'im

E-field such a wonderful guy

Final bit (Different time)


We're preaching this sermon to show

It Ain't necessarily, ain't necessarily,

Ain't necessarily so.




Summertime an' the living ain't easy

Mods are loomin' and our finals are nigh

Oh we're drinking Pimms when we should be revisin'

Can't do our sums and don't know why



One of these mornings we're gonna rise up cringin'

Then we'll don our gowns and we'll take to the High

But till that mornin' comes, there ain't nothing can harm us

With four watchful tutors standing by.



Fascinating Physics (Mr. Truman's Big Number)

Fascinating Physics, it's got me on the go

Fascinating Physics, I'm all a-quiver

What a mess I'm making, the tutors want to know

Why I'm always shaking, why I'm quite so.




Each morning I get up with the sun

(Start a-shirking, never working)

To find at night no work has been done



I know that, once it didn't matter

But now it's going wrong,

My teeth begin to chatter, I'm so unhappy

Can't I take a day off, decide to run along

Somewhere far away off and make it snappy?



Oh how I long to be the fresher I used to be

Fascinating Physics, why can't you fascinate me?



Verse 1

I got Rhythm

I read Physics

Here at Oxford

I'm an asset

None could ask for anything more

Verse 2  

I would make a

Great accountant

I can add up

It don't need anything more

Verse 3

Different time


Old man Gatford

Gave me job lists

"Merchant Banking

And the Physicist"

Verse 4





But -  I got Oxford

         I got background

         I got contacts

         Who could ask for anything more?

         Who needs anything more.


Then break to


(To 'Old Macdonald had a farm)


Verse 5 (getting louder

and more raucous)


Old Doc Lyons had a farm


And on that farm he had some charm


With a strange quark here and a charmed quark there

Here a quark, There a quark

Everywhere a quark - quark

Old Doc Lyons had a farm